My Dearest Beloved Darling...

My Dearest Beloved Darling,

I guess you will be surprised when you recieve this letter, but darling I could not hold it off any longer. Darling, there is a question that I must ask you. It has been baring on my mind so long until the pain is begining to hurt. Darling, I lie at night trying to figure out the best way to ask you this question, but everytime I think I have it figured out, the tears begin to flow so bad and the pain in my heart begins to hurt because I'm afraid you won't give me the asnwer I wanna hear to the question I'm about to ask. Darling, Please don't dissapoint me. I want you to sleep on it a while before answering my question. Do you know my darling that a question like this is only asked once in a lifetime. The closer I come to asking this question my eyes fill up with tears and my heart is throbbing and my hand is shaking. I can hardly hold this pen, because the right answer to this question could change both of our futures. So you see why my darling that this question is so important. I'm sure there is another love or maybe two, but believe me darling that doesn't matter as long as you give me a truthful answer to the question I am about to ask. Well, darling... I don't think I can hold it back any longer. It hurts so bad after waiting so long that I'm almost afraid to ask you thins question. But I realize that the only way that I can get any rest is to go ahead and ask it. Darling please don't be angry at me for waiting so long before asking. Well, darling... Here goes... "Will Mickey Mouse ever become a Rat?"

Unashamed Love

At church tonight I prayed with a few girls. As we took prayer requests, I realized how thankful and lucky I am to be working with these kids. One girl's prayer request really stood out to me. She prayed that the people at our church would be set on fire and have a passion for God. That's an important and bold request; especially from a 14 year old. We get done praying and we chat while we wait on the other groups to get done. We talked about her request and then she said something that almost made me cry. She said that she wants people in our church to love God the way I do. She then said that she wants to be like me when she gets to be my age. Wow. I had no idea what to say to that. Luck for me, Tim started to sing again.

The kids are amazing and I see God at work in their lives everyday. I love to hear about their days and what's going on in their lives. I do pray that God grants her request. God is so great to be hidden in our little church. These girls have an unashamed love for our God and they aren't afraid to show it. I am utterly thankful for where God has placed me.

Dr. Jeanny

Today we had our real stock-the-store truck at 6 in the am. It was a little bit rough but we got it done. At the end of turck, April and Clark were putting down the belt and her hand got caught. The skin between her thumb and index finger got caught in the bars. Clark finally got it out and it bleed everywhere. (Same spot as Mary's accident with the exacto knife). Poor girl. I know it had to hurt. But she was a trooper and stayed and worked truck until about 20 minutes ago.

I cleaned and bandaged her and got her going. Everyone who looked at it about threw up, even April. Strangly enough, it didn't bother me. I guess it's a good thing considering I'm going into the medical field. Magee (another manager) said I was a freak. I don't think I am. When I worked at Center Point, I was the only one who would print off this one's guys grusome pics from Iraq and car wrecks. He kinda does what Mary's dad does. It was sad pics but I never felt sick. I told Magee I just have a strong stomach. So all day everyone called me Dr. Jeanny. It'd be nice if I made the money of a doctor. Anyways, pray for April cause I know she'll be in pain later tonight.

Unanswered Prayers?

I was at work today and it was so slow. When it rains no one comes to Walgreens. So, I spent all day all alone doing my work with only the Walgreens Radio to keep me company. Usually everyday is themed on the W Radio. Saturday was 80's themed and today was apparently a new 90's theme. I heard some old school stuff like N'Sync, BSB, and Garth Brooks. Kinda werid to hear him on W Radio. Well, it was his song Unanswered Prayers. It's one of my favorite Garth Brooks songs, so I was just a singing to myself. But then I really listened to the words. I had one of those aha moments. You know how you can listen and sing a song but not really know what it's talking about or really listen to the words... well, that was me. He says that "some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers." I think God always hears and always answers our prayers. They may or may not be answered the way we would like it or answered in the time frame we would like. Whether the answer is a yes, no, or wait and see... doesn't that mean that God answers them all?

These are just some jellios I had in my head today. I am gonna go take a hot shower. We got yet another trusk today. Not Christmas this time. It was Halloween. BOO! And of course I got soaked. I did see Missy drive by. I saw a van, but when I saw her GSM and FV stickers I knew it was her. Peace Out! :)

Mr. Treebush's Friends

So, we lost power last night and I overslept for church. I never sleep past like eight but after I got over the shock of missing church, I realized it was kinda nice to actually sleep in for once. This was until I looked out the window.

The house next door in up for sale and no one has been there for prolly about two months. We had to trim their bushes that line our fence cause it was eating our fence. Well, now their tree branches and whoohaa was laying all over our driveway. Thanks Hurricane Faye! So, we've spent most of the day sawing down branches and cleaning it up. My dad kinda freaked when he heard that we were using his chainsaw while he was at work. I think he just wants to join in on the fun.

Anyways, it looks like I'm gonna miss church again tonight. It sucks but I do need to do some major cleaning to this house.

Hannah Montana and Baby Slobber

I just got home from work and I wanna kill Hannah Montana. Okay... maybe not kill, but very close. We got two Christmas truck today at work. We had to put one up on risers and in bays before the second one got there. It was like three before we ate lunch. And if you know how I eat, I almost died. Okay... not really, but I was so hungry. We got Taco Bell and I ate like seven tacos and cinniman twists. The fruit drinks are really good.

But anyways, back to Hannah... We got so much of her stuff for Christmas. Microphones, wigs, popcorn tins, cocoa mugs, lip gloss, and even Halloween outfits. At one point, I was standing in the middle of the stockroom surrounded by a thousand smiling Hannah Montana faces. It was kinda scary. She's taking over the world. And on top of all that, we have four endstands and the entrance to our store is covered with her stuff. (So Missy, don't bring Lana into any Walgreens until after Christmas.) I know it's only August, but I'm already getting excited about Christmas. It's my favorite time of the year. I just wish I could see snow this year. I'll keep my fingers crossed.


So, last night Jessica and I babysat for some people at church. It was so much fun. We had two babies and three kids. At one point, I had both babies in my arms falling asleep and I had to pee. Then, I feed Ava and I started to burp her. She spit up and caught it with her hand. I was like, "wow! A talented kid!" But before I could wipe off her hand, she high fived my face and neck. It was nice to let the parents enjoy their night without the kidos. Last night made me want some of my own. I can't wait till I have my own family. I only want 5-7 kids and 2-3 dogs. :)

Hurricane Faye is knocking on the door, so I am gonna go crawl into bed and read a book.

Thankful Thursday

I'm finally back to blogging and I titled this bog Thankful Thursday because I do have a lot to be thankful for and I'd like to share it with my wonderful friends.

So, my dad lost his job and it got tough there for a while. But now, he has a new job and to top it off, he works daytime now. That makes my mom happy. And you know what they say, "If mom ain't happy, no one's happy." I'm happy that she's happy.

I started school this past Tuesday and it is 100% paid for. No bills or student loans. I am a little broke at the moment, but hey... I'm a struggling poor college kid. I'm not supposed to have money, right?

Our first Human Video practice is September 7th, and 15 people are signed up to come. I am getting so excited about this. I love these kids so much. I've been practicing some videos and goodness... I dodn't know how much I could accutally sweat. But it's a nice form of worship coupled with excersise.

Work is going pretty good. I got another raise because... well, I did my job and saved the company a pretty amount of money and problems. I work a lot (45-55 hrs.), but it has paid for school and helped my family out. And it doesn't hurt to set a little money aside for my non-Alabama house. :)

All in all, things are getting better. There still are some tough days but they are getting less and less. I still miss Mr. Ostrich and I still pray for him, but I think my heart heals a little more everyday. I have lost some old friends due to drinking, partying, etc. but I have made some wondeful new ones. Sometimes I wonder about my future and tomorrow. Then I remember that God has it already handled. He is all I need and that is enough for me. When God's timing is God's timing it will be so worth it. So, I go to work, school, church, and an occasional midnight run with friends... and I'm happy and very thankful that God has blessed me as he has!

Snuggled and Snoring

You know how people have a special spot to sit in think... ie the toliet, bathtub, kitchen, etc. Well, I have two. Lately I haven't been able to go to my thinking spot at Turkey Creek; mainly because I have been so busy. My other one is (promise not to laugh) snuggled between my babies at night in bed. There is just smoething about the dark and the light snoring of two dogs. Yeah, my dogs snore... and yeah, to me snoring is actually relaxing. But anyways, I got to thinking or more reflecting on the past week or so. A very wonderful person sent me an email that made me bawl my eyes out, but in a good way. They said everything that I kinda already knew but refused to listen to. (I am very stubborn if you haven't noticed.) It's kinda like your mom telling you that outfit doesn't match, but you say whatever cause it's your mom. But when you get to school and your friends tell you it's a whole nother story. Well, the same thing is happening here. I know what God wants me to do, but I have been stubborn. It's only when the email and April said the same thing that I listened. It does break my heart to back up and let God handle it. I've already invested my heart, time, and energy into it. Not to mention, breaking almost all of my rules :). I know that deep down, I could spend the rest of my life serving God and be completly happy. I want His will and glory to be seen. Right now, he wants to use me to work with these kids at church. God has always meet my needs and sometimes my desries. He knows that I desire a large family and handsome husband, but I know now that when the time is right it will perfect. I have to remeber "I am Third!"

Thanks so much for being true friends! I can't tell you how much it means. I ask that you guys pray for the kids tomorrow. And Missy and Valerie, I would love to do joint human videos and songs with you guys. That would be awesome. Oh, and I don't mind seeing that movie with you guys. I hope you don't mind a little 21 year old tag-a-long ;)!

**Never question in the darkness what God has given you in the light.**

Yah!!!!

My favorite author, Nicholas Sparks, has another book turning into a movie. If you don't know, he wrote the Notebook and Message in a Bottle. Both of those were turned into movies- at least the Notebook was a good movie; Message in a Bottle, not so much. Anyways, I meet him once at a book signing. All of his books are set in North Carolina, so I asked if they were real places. He said yes. I decided that I was gonna add these North Carolina places to my "List of Places to Visit." So I was super excited when my friend sent me the youtube trailer for his new movie, Nights in Rondanthe. It's a good book, so I can only imagine how the movie will be. So, I hope you enjoy and maybe come with me when it comes out :).

In other news, my dad is doing all right. He went back to work tonight. And Craig gave me permission to start a Human Video team with the girls at church. YAH!!!! I am gonna make an annoucement on Wednesday and have them sign up. Hopefully, we'll have our first practice the following Sunday! Be in prayer for these girls. And yeah, I think I'm doing better. Time heals all wounds, right?

Can't Sleep

You ever have one of those nights where you can't sleep, no matter what? Well, that's my night. I have so much on my mind that I can't seem to let it go for five minutes to fall alseep. So, here I sit... maybe if I write them out... I can sleep.

Well, last night my dad got hurt pretty bad at work. He hurt his shoulder and his head. I felt really halpless cause he works over night in Gadsen and I couldn't go get him. (I am so geologically challeneged!). He says he's okay now... I think he only says that because he's doped up on pain meds. But I still worry. He is the only father I have. I think I worry so much about the four family members I have because they are all that I have.

Then... there's the whole Mr. Ostrich thingy. Last night was a good way not to think about it, but I have to come back to reality sooner or later. So, here's the thing... At first I was patient and everything, but I really figured that it would turn to anger sooner or later. And it's werid because it hasn't. Why? I mean, after everything he has told me, I do still think he is being a little selfish about his problems. So, I got to thinking. Wednesday, I prayed for his whole court thing. With him not talking to me, I never wished him any bad luck. I prayed that God's will be done and that he would move in his life. I'm not angry at him either. Is there something wrong with me? Well, that's what I thought at first. It kinda hit me tonight, the answer... it's not me at all. I think if it was me, I would be angry and hate him, but I don't. It's God changing my mind. I know we all know the verse about "renewing of our minds," I never really thought all too much about it until tonight. God IS changing to way I think about things and about how I pray. I don't say that to brag... okay... maybe I do... on God! I'm still frustrated about the situation cause I really wish he would talk to me, but it means more to me that he gets his life and relationship together with God and that God's glory will be seen.

I know that a lot of it stems from the inabilty of my heart sometimes. My mom says it is my weakness and greatest strength. I always give my whole self and whole heart, so when it gets broken it hurts a lot.

Which brings me to my last thing. I am so fed up with being the good girl sometimes. I am so at the point in my life where I want to start settling down and starting a family. One problem... no groom. I am tired of hearing that this boy of that boy needs friendship and prayer instead of me. It hurts, but then again I feel helpless. My first boyfriend and I got engaged and then one day he said he didn't love me any more. I see him around Center Point sometimes... he is a father and has dropped out of school. He was my first love and I know a part of me will always love him... so I do pray for him every now and then. The whole time we were together, he faked going to church because he "loved me." Then my second boyfriend, he was a pot head (literally) and he asked me out like three times. I finally said yes, after he had gotten saved and it was like 5 months later. Our relationship, I think, was more of a starter up Christian thing. After I broke up with him, he went right back to pot and drinking. I still pray for him too. The list goes on with two other guys, but the story never changes. I get to tired of being there and scraficing for others. Where is my knight in shining armor? I know that God's timing is the best, but I can't help feeling frusrated now.

And to top it all off... before we went to North Carolina I did like someone and we went on like two dates, but nothing I guess came of it. So, I meet Mr. Ostrich and it seemed to be working out all right. Now here I sit, a month later, and the guy from before was totally sweet to me last night at the pool party. Those feelings kinda came back a little. Who the crap do I like? Who do I wait on to grow up a little? Do I forget them both? I have no idea. I know that I'm not gonna turn from 21 to 50 in two seconds, I just don't wanna be the crazy old lady with a million pets.

These are just my Jellio's on my mind. I think if I sleep at the foot of my bed, I may be able to sleep better... Well, I guess that's it. I'm off to bed! Thanks for listening.

Walgreens Girls Night Out!

With all the stuff that has been going on this past two weeks, I have really been looking foward to tonight. Tonight at 10:00 at Books-A-Million, they had a release party for the book Breaking Dawn. So, since all of us at work are reading the Twilight books, we decided to go. It was a lot of fun, cause a lot of people really dressed up and we made fun of a lot of things. I would really have to tell you the stories of all these people in person.

So, we got our books and decided to go eat. After Waffle House was full, we went to Whataburger. We acted like a bunch of crazy girls who haven't seen each other in years. We were all talking and laughing. There were ten of us (and my brother-the only guy)and no one else in Whataburger. So I guess it didn't matter how loud we got. Then like ten guys walked in. Lets just say, we had a lot of fun ;)!

So, we then decide to leave. We roll the windows down, blasted loud rap music, and traveled through Trussville and Center Point. Mind you that there are very few cars. So naturally, we got pulled over. Since I was the lead car and the oldest I got in trouble. Now I sit here in jail... J/K! We got a lecture and we left.

We had a lot of fun! It was nice to forget about my worries, troubles, and everything and just got out and have fun and act immature for one night. I can't wait until our next Walgreens Girls Night Out!